“Bedrooms are meant for sleeping, reading, reflecting, romancing, and recharging your batteries - a perfect antidote for a busy, stressful day. Because every part of your life is connected, the quality of rest you receive in your bedroom is crucial to your happiness, health, and productivity.

A cozy bedroom atmosphere invites complete rest and rejuvenation of your body, mind, and spirit.”

~ Terah Kathryn Collins

• Nine-year-old Riley was exhibiting signs of anxiety. He was fidgety and unfocused at school, short-tempered at home, and was having trouble sleeping. His physician was suggesting medication.

• Jenna’s love life was stagnant. Disheartened with dating apps and blind dates, she felt discouraged. If her brother suggested going out with one more of his flaky friends, she was going to unravel. 

• Married for 23 years, the romance had gone from sizzle to fizzle for Kevin and Kelly.

Individually unique in their challenges, a consequential common thread was woven throughout these scenarios: The lack of a supportive bedroom.

Now, before we curl up with this anxiety-reducing/partner-attracting/romance-sparking topic, let’s begin by reflecting on the real purpose of a bedroom.

Simply put, our bedroom is the room we sleep in. It’s where we retreat to rest and rejuvenate and lay our bodies to relax and recharge. It’s where we begin and conclude each of our days. It’s a cradle of comfort where we cure illnesses and coax dreams. It’s where we go to heal.

Our bedrooms hold immeasurable power and our bed is the heart center of this restorative place. The pulse of this space vibrates within us and we are calibrated by the energy it emits.

Think of your bedroom as personal nest, an inviting sanctuary to return for daily renewal.

When we veer away from the actual purpose of a space, for example, disregarding that our bedroom is intended for sleep - and the unlimited possibilities associated while in a dreamtime state - and instead fill the space with clutter, electronics, work, and noise, we are no longer slumbering in a restorative space. When your space to recharge or romance is instead peppered with pandemonium, the room provokes a tone of chaos and discontent and that is the energy we will absorb, carry with us, and project.

• In Riley’s bedroom clothes were strewn about and the abundance of legos was intense. The room was overstuffed with too many books, too many art projects, and a huge tv. Paper, forgotten socks, crayons, and nerf guns were wrangling to escape from under the bed. Extra large mirrors exacerbated the chaos. The room roared with activity, confusion, and disorder.

• Jenna’s bedroom was a time capsule of her youth (Jenna is currently 43). Stuffed animals adorned her bed, an image of lone ballerina hung on the wall, and a photo of her and her dad at Disneyland sat on the nightstand. Her bedding was well-worn and a well-defined imprint of her pup permeated the pillows. The room reflected a solitary adolescent being closely supervised by her family.

• Kevin and Kelly’s huge bedroom had frosty white walls and large exposed windows. When lying in bed, Kelly had an excellent view of the bathroom toilet. In order to align the treadmill with the desk, their bed was shoved up against the wall causing Kevin to climb across the bed rather than alongside it to enter. Kelly had a nightstand; Kevin did not. Their room was everything but a love shack. The icy room suggested separation, strain, and stress.

We spend 1/3 of our lives in slumber. If we live to be 100, we will spend 33 years asleep. We will spend more time in our beds than we will anywhere else during our lives. This is a significant space to pay attention to.

If our bed is a mess, it can be challenging to feel calm and comfortable. When we make our bed each morning, we set the tone for our day and are ensuring a welcome embrace awaits us at the end of it. When we outwardly respect our sacred space of rejuvenation, we set an intention that we are worthy of being held in tenderness while we sleep. We honor our body when we honor our bed.

We not only need our beds to provide us with comfort and solace at the end of each day, we need them to help ease us from rest into action.

We should avoid storing things under our bed. If we must, let’s make sure our items are of value and being stored properly. Sleeping over discards, disarray, and dust bunnies contributes to stagnation and restlessness and can significantly affect our sleep. Having nothing under our bed invites clarity and calm.

Our beds are imprinted by those who have previously slept in them. If you’ve been in a relationship that is no longer, consider the chatter that’s coming from the previous furniture to ensure it elicits a positive and nurturing response. When considering a new relationship, consider a new mattress.

Explore the texture of sheets you prefer. Consider flannel sheets in winter and cotton sheets in summer. The crisp scent of line-dried sheets invites incomparable sensory slumber. Don’t underestimate the power of sinking into sun-kissed linens free of chemicals and fabricated fragrances.

When considering bedroom wall colors, think flesh tones. Think softness and warmth. Avoid bright colors.

Home offices, exercise equipment, and electronics are associated with activity and moving energy. If you have any of these items in your room, I invite you to go back to defining the purpose of the space. If the bedroom’s purpose truly is restoration, perhaps it’s time to consider relocating these items to more suitable spaces. If you’re feeling restricted with space, consider using a screen or cover that can be easily moved for access.

Mirrors are an active energy and tend to cause insomnia. If you have floor-to-ceiling closet doors, the energy in the space is magnified and not at all nest-like. A simple solution is a drape or curtain with tiebacks that you can open and close at your discretion.

In order for a bedroom to serve its purpose, Yin energy is required. Yin is expressed through quiet and non-active spaces inviting privacy and cozy protection. Think soft, subtle, and snug.

Is the room age appropriate or is it hodgepodge of leftovers? Consider the importance of encouraging our space to grow with us and be reflective of who we are now.

• In Riley’s “noisy” room, we removed all the excess. Riley was ready to let the “baby stuff” go, but it quickly became apparent his mom was not. We discussed that if mom wanted to keep the stuff, mom had to assume the responsibility of storage. (This was an eye-opener for mom.) We removed the tv and unwanted toys. We stuck to the principles we had established and their motivation for the space. This was a bedroom not a rumpus room. We draped a neutral curtain to cover the closet mirrors during sleep. We removed the glaring overhead light and added a soft bedside lamp. We established a container (boundaries) around his book shelf: Two shelves for books, one shelf for toys (contained) one shelf for miscellaneous (also contained). We cleared everything out from under his bed. Riley had requested a “calm corner” so we created a zone for him to be able to quietly curl up and read. Riley immediately began to sleep better. Within weeks his teacher noticed a significant improvement and within two months they had stopped discussing medication.

• We began in Jenna’s “high school” room by rehoming her stuffed animals. We removed all the “single” images, including the solo ballerina and the solitary bedside figurine, and relocated images of her family to other rooms in her home. We cleared out the nightstand on her potential partner side of the bed and found a cozy cuddler that her precious pup could curl up in rather than occupying the pillow of her future partner. We placed the bed in the power position (view of the bedroom door but not directly in line with it) and replaced the stale bedding with luxurious linens. Five weeks later Jenna met a special someone.

• As for Kevin and Kelly, we began thawing their room by moving their desk into their spare room. We painted the room a soft taupe and hung mocha-colored curtains on the vast windows. They wanted the exercise equipment to stay so we found an easily movable three-paneled shoji screen to divide the space and to be able to put their exercise equipment “to sleep.” We moved their bed to a different wall providing them both with ease-of-entry access as well as a positive view creating a more intimate atmosphere. They declared their bed a no-phone zone.

I invite you to spend some time reading your bedroom. Consider the messages it’s conveying. Is your nest nurturing or noisy? Upon waking are you greeted with hope and encouragement or are you faced with irritation and overwhelm? At the end of your day, does it beckon you inward toward replenishment or is it fueling frustration? Does it invite you to rest, recharge, and recenter, or does it assault you with aggravation and annoyance?

Wherever you lay your head, you are worthy of being held in a supportive space surrounded by loving kindness. Your body, mind, and spirit will affectionately respond.

Sweet dreams.