Boxes of Dreams
“Make the most of yourself for that is all there is of you.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
While serving our country, Carmin had been stationed in Japan. Her two children had been born there, and they were both fluent in Japanese. For years she had desired to learn the Japanese language.
After being discharged, and a relocation or two later, while we were unraveling her carefully packed life, we came across five boxes of books.
“Those are my Japanese books.”
“Ok.”
“I want to learn Japanese.”
“That’s awesome.”
“I’ve been trying to get to it. I kept thinking I would, but I haven’t. Now they are all buried. It’s like this room is full of where all of my dreams went to die.”
Ouch.
We both stared at the stack of boxes. The boxes seemed to stare back.
I pondered what she had shared.
“So what I think I hear you saying is that your dreams are dead because these unpacked boxes are telling you that?”
“Pretty much.”
Hmmm….
“What if I suggested that the Japanese language isn’t going anywhere?”
No response.
“What if I reminded you there are libraries and bookstores and classes?”
I sensed I had her attention.
“What if I told you it must not be the season for you to learn Japanese?”
Head tilt. Eyebrows raised.
“What if I told you that if you were to let these boxes of books go you might be free of the weight of not yet having learned Japanese?”
Slight head nodding. Light bulb turning on.
“What if I told you that by letting these boxes go it does not mean you are never going to learn Japanese?”
She thought about it for a moment.
“I never thought about it that way.”
“Your dreams are not in those boxes. That I can assure you.”
More pondering and more staring at the boxes.
“I’ve been carrying them around for a long time.”
“I know.”
“I’m ready.”
If you have boxes of books that you’ve been storing, or moving from place to place with the best of intentions that are now collecting mildew, dust, spiders, and remorse, it’s okay to let them go. You will not forget how to read and there are plenty of books out there when you’re ready.
Or perhaps you have boxes of yarn your neighbor gave you because you once mentioned wanting to learn to knit, so she ran home and cleared out her craft closet only to return an hour later with so much yarn… and in colors you would have never selected.
So, you never got around to learning to how to knit. And now you are panged with guilt and regret every time you look at that box because that sweet lady gave you said yarn and you really wanted to learn. So instead you let the box taunt you and serve as a reminder of just one more thing you haven’t gotten around to doing.*
That box of textbooks - because someday you are going to get your master’s…
That box of magazines - because someday you are going to tear out all of those recipes…
That box of travel guides - because someday you are going to take that trip…
That box of art supplies - because someday you are going to quit your day job…
That box of sheet music - because someday you are going to start playing the piano again…
We change. Our interests change. Our dreams change.
By letting the boxes go, your dreams are not going to die. It just means you are creating space for whatever is supposed to be happening during this part of your story.
We think the tangible items that we’ve surrounded ourselves with are giving us direction. We think by having a visual reminder we will do what we need to do and eventually get where we think we’re supposed to be going. We’re afraid that by letting go of those discernible clues our dreams will just shrivel up and die. We think by letting go of our past that somehow we are diminishing our future.
Often our paths don’t end up taking us where we envisioned. We may have embarked on a journey with an specific destination in mind, but life happened and now we have arrived somewhere else.
We need to understand and respect that there is an ebb and flow to life and things often don’t go according to our plan. Sometimes we don’t end up at the destination we set out for.
If life has taken us to a different location, but we stay packed for the trip we embarked on, we may need to do some offloading and rearranging. We may need to make adjustments and lighten our load. We need to create space for new dreams to find their way to us, manifest, blossom, and grow.
Carmin parted with four out of the five boxes of Japanese books. She kept a few favorites, a dictionary, and a couple of classics. We found a place to honor those on a bookshelf where her children would be able to access them and enjoy them and possibly read them to her, together.
The nonprofit we donated the books to were thrilled to have them as many of their students were passionately into anime and they felt these would be a great resource for their community. This made Carmin very happy.
*When you decide you are finally going to learn to knit, you will find new yarn in the colors you choose that won’t smell like mothballs from 1979.