A Home of One’s Own
“Home is a name, a word, it is a strong one; stronger than magician ever spoke, or spirit ever answered to, in the strongest conjuration.”
~ Charles Dickens
In the movie Under the Tuscan Sun, Frances, a recent divorcee attempting to heal heartbreak after her husband’s affair, gets bamboozled by her gal pals into touring Tuscany on a bus with a gaggle of gleeful globetrotters.
During a pivotal scene, the bus slows while ascending a hill to avoid colliding with a flock of sheep. As it inches along encouraging the sheep to scatter, Frances glances out the window. Through a dusty haze she spots a plaque mounted on a terracotta wall surrounding a well-worn villa. On the plaque is the word Bramasole and above it is an image of a serene country home, the same rendering she’d serendipitously spotted earlier in a real estate office in the town square.
Frances shouts, “Stop the bus!”
The bus stops.
Frances, energized with intention, drags her lone little suitcase and clumsily disembarks leaving her fellow travelers confused and dismayed at her abrupt departure as the bus pulls away leaving her seemingly stranded.
Cautiously attempting to break free of disappointment and despair while inviting courage and curiosity to accompany her, she timidly approaches the plaque, gently floats her fingers over the image, and begins to smile.
After pushing open the overgrown gate, she approaches the house.
Bramasole seems to have been expecting her.
Frances’ next chapter had magically begun.
For generations villas have been given names. So have beach homes, barns, ranches, campers, castles, cottages, treehouses, and cabins in the woods.
The homes in eclectic Carmel-by-the-Sea only have names, no street numbers at all. Makes for a good time when attempting to deliver a package or a pizza. These dwellings invite you to Linger Longer or get Tucked In.
We name our schools, shopping malls, skyscrapers, and stadiums. We name our amusement parks, resorts, libraries, theaters, and museums. We name our campgrounds, monuments, and worldly wonders.
We’re especially fond of naming dwellings that float such as houseboats, ships, and yachts. It’s customary to name ships to invoke good luck and safe travels to the vessel as well as its passengers and crew. It’s not unusual to hold a christening ceremony proudly announcing the ship’s name and invite others to attend and offer their collective well wishes. Often the owner, or a sponsor, will break a bottle of champagne on its bow to mark the celebratory occasion.
When we christen a ship, we’re expressing an outward gesture of collective reverence and respect. An intention is being ignited for both the ship and its seafarers. From its inception, the ship is presented as being exceptional and honored and will be appreciated by its guests and owners. A message is being communicated to both the ship and its passengers. The relationship between the people and the vessel has begun.
The people are saying, “You are cherished and we will care for you.”
Because the ship will be well-loved and tended to, it will respond and do its best to keep its passengers safe while escorting them on their journeys.
I invite you to consider this: Why aren’t we giving the same respect, significance, and value to the one structure that has been exclusively assigned the honor and responsibility of being our personal safe haven and sanctuary day in and day out?
When we give a name to our dwelling, we begin to form an intimate relationship with it. When we name our home, we create a personal connection. When we form a connection or bond with something or someone, we enter into a reciprocal relationship and are more likely to love and care for it, and, in response, it for us.
By naming our home, we’re expressing an outward signal to our dwelling that it is cherished and revered. In giving our home a name, we’re inviting it to be in relationship with us and to partner with us. In giving our home a name, we’re telling it that it matters to us and we will care for it.
We are not separate from our home. Our home is a reflection of us and we of it. It is an extension of our beliefs, values, and dreams. It is an extrinsic expression of who we are.
Having a name for our home changes the way we interact with it. Our experience with our home is elevated when we give it a personal identity rather than having it marked only by a series of static strategic numbers.
Our homes have an enormous obligation and deserve to be recognized for their valiant efforts. They not only keep us safe, our homes hold the stories of our lives. They provide shelter from the storms, both external and internal, and serve as a respite from the turbulence of the outside world. Our homes are a sacred place where we celebrate, gather, grow, and share. They patiently adjust and provide a welcome embrace for the new lives we bring in and stand witness and envelope us when the lives that once were are no longer.
Our homes protects both the dreamer and its dreams.
Begin by being curious about the heart center of your home and identifying the space within your home that feels the most joyous and alive. Spend a few minutes in that space just being with it. Introduce yourself so it can introduce itself to you. Lean in to its response. Let your intuition and imagination guide you. Be curious about what the heart of your home beats for.
If you have not yet named your home, I invite you to be open to the possibility that perhaps your home already has a name and has been waiting for you to ask so it may reveal it to you. If your home doesn’t seem to be forthcoming with currently wanting to share its name, consider it’s been patiently waiting for you to offer it one.
If you reside with someone other than yourself, consider gathering suggestions from all the occupants to collectively decide on a designation. If you have children, consider making an activity out of this. The imaginations of the young are so less limited than the adult’s.
If you reside alone, you get the satisfaction of naming it whatever your starry heart desires.
Consider making a plaque, painting a rock, engraving a piece of wood, or framing a photo to display your home’s name. Consider having a christening for your home. You don’t necessarily need to break a bottle of champagne on it, but I’m sure it would enjoy the lovely gesture of popping a bottle and raising a glass in its honor. If champagne isn’t your thing, consider a tea ceremony or a pizza party. Whatever floats your boat.
Suggestions for naming your home:
Set an intention behind the name
Turn to nature or the flora or fauna of the area
Consider family history
Consider the home’s history
Consider the hopes and dreams for your home
Invite creativity to escort you and have some fun
Spoiler alert: Frances bought the neglected villa with nothing but hope for a life full of happiness and adventure inviting passion and possibility to be her guides. Though she labored and strived to transform the structure, the now-well-loved home rewarded her with abundance larger than she was capable of dreaming for herself.
Bramasole = Yearn for the Sun